We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
