Don't you send me to vm
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
