just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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