I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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