He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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