Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
