he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.