It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.