When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.