I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
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I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I can't trust your balls anymore.