oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.