i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
reminds me of losing my job
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!