your room smells of hookers.
And success
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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