reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
