and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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