HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
