RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
