I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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