Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
