Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
