Banned from zoo.
Again?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
