What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
