Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
