Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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