I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize