well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
