kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We left the knife in your bed.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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