I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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