Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
