If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
