Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
