I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
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I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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