Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
