no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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