whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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