I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I skipped work to stalk him.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize