OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
