so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Drunk is not a location!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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