i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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