Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
