They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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