Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
