She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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