five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
