R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
