Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
