What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Never underestimate the power of titties
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
