I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize