we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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