apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How's work?
Spinning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
