Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
