The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
