He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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