Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
