Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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