I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
