Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
