We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
