I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
