There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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