found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
