playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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