I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
