I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
