At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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