what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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