I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
